well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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