dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize