So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
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Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
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She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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