and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
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Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
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Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
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