Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize