Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
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