but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She needs sedatives and a leash
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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