I could make wine with my vomit
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
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