i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
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The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
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Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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