I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
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i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
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