At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
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I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
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I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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