how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
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I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
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You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize