well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I'm always down for nudity.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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