I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize