yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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