Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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