I cut my penus on the lid.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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