She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
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his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
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Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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