We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
The air taste purple.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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