i don't plan on having that self control this summer
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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