Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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