i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
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dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
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Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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