dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
it's like heaven, but drunker
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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