Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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