My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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