Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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