This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize