Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Randomize