When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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