A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
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he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
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Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
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