saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
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