New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
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i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
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You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
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