Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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