I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize