I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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