Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize