Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize