Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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