i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
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Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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