i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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