My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
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I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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