Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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