She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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