i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize