And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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