I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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