No more Irish car bombs ever.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize