well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
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She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
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I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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