Barsexuality is the new black.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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