even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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