Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
