He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize